Post Trip – November 13, 2013

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Hi you guys! Welcome to another week of recovery. Man, that trip was brutal. Right now I feel like hell. You know, coming down from this trip is like recovering from a bad break up or a case of bad whiplash. It doesn’t strike you til later. I’m beat from the trip. Just the other day I went to water therapy and I was a mess. I think I need to sleep for a week. I guess it’s like a race. You know, when I was doing my trip, I was all pumped up, but now that I’m home, it’s hit me hard. It’s like recovering from a race. Anyway, I continue with my therapy. It did bring some changes to my body, the trip that is. I do feel some changes going on. Maybe with a little rest I’ll be stronger. Who knows?

My friend here just asked me, what do I mean? I reply, I keep barking and keep chasing sticks. I won’t come down from the cabinet. Just kidding. I think with a little rest I’ll be stronger. The changes I note are things that are hard to describe like the amount of numbness in my hands and feet, or I’m more aware of my body and the condition it’s in. I’m more and more aware I’m a mess. You know, it depends on how you look at things (no pun intended). I see double you know, and you could look at it this way, “Damn, I see double.” Or you can look at a single rose and all of a sudden have two roses. See what I mean? It depends on how you approach things. That’s why I like looking at clouds or trees. I see double the clouds and double the trees. It also relaxes my eyes. I don’t get as stressed out. It feels natural. I’ve also been painting a lot. I’ll include a picture of an example. They’re very abstract images, but they are a sense of entertainment. They make me happy. Don’t ask me to draw your dog, but it’s pretty far out.

I just want to make a few notes, you know, like benchmark things. One thing I notice is I don’t sleep like I used to. I wake up early ready for the day, looking forward to it, and when I take a nap I never fall asleep. I just rest. When an hour passes, I’m anxious to do some more therapy or get up. In fact, just today, when I got up from my nap, I sat up on my own. Sounds simple, but that’s a huge step for me. I guess what I’m getting at is, I’m getting better. I’m still thinking about my next trip though. I don’t know where I’ll go or when, but the next step is to get my images together from the last trip and have a show.

I’d like to mention one other thing. Anxiety and stress really bring me down. When I have a lot of anxiety, I get what you call “little moments.” It’s almost like a seizure, or who knows, maybe it is. It never turns into a full blown seizure. Anxiety is definitely my enemy.

You know, I did this trip for a month, went all the way across America, came all the way back. Other than my daughter, the most beautiful thing I saw was my front porch. It was good to be back home. Someone asked me what was the most beautiful thing I saw on my trip, and I replied, other than my daughter, it was the leaves on the trees back home. You see, they were at their peak and they were just turning. So what the hell did I go all the way to the west coast for? Anyway, remember to look around you. The most beautiful thing you see might be right in front of you. This is the old softie signing off. Love, B. Nice

photo 2 photo 1

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7 thoughts on “Post Trip – November 13, 2013

  1. Wondering what the size of your paintings are? I love them. Knowing more about TBI then one should, I see in your paintings a sense of where you are now. I would imagine if you lined them up sequentially you would see that, too. At any rate wondering size and if you are interested in selling them, perhaps for a donation? I love your blog, it is a hopeful blog. Keep up your forward focus.
    All the best to you
    Cyndie

  2. Brian,
    keep up the good work. since the moment I met you back in NYC on a shoot you made an indelible mark on me. Your kindness and compassion spoke volumes back then and not surprise still to this day. You are a memorable human being.
    Love,
    Italo

  3. Brian, thank you for keeping us updated on your progress. I find it encouraging and so interesting as the wife of a brain-injured man myself. He finds stress and over stimulation are his worst enemies as well and we all do our best to mitigate those things for him. TBI patients often talk about “flooding” that comes from over stimulation and how distressed they feel when they experience this. I am sure that your trip stretched you in amazing and healing ways that could not have happened by staying home and in your “comfort zone.” But now your body and your brain have to assimilate all of that into new and better ways of functioning for you. I celebrate your victories. How wonderful to sit up in bed on your own after a restful nap and be ready to get back to work. Bravo!

  4. It was such an honor to meet you at the hotel parking lot in Tucson. I was the lady who went nuts over your van. I am enjoying following your weekly updates.

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